History: It Happened

This, believe it or not, was my Tuesday classroom this week: the British Museum. Quite nice, actually, having a class here, because it doesn't feel like a class.


The Great Court...you can't miss it. You walk in through the main doors and you see 2 acres of glass doming. We had tea here in a small cafe by the gift shop. We later discovered a very nice restaurant above the Round Reading Room (the cylindrical thing in the middle), but I don't think anyone was going pay to eat there.

We spent a lot of time here, so I'm just going to tell you what the picture is and a quick, fun-fact about it.


Statue from Easter Isle: On the back of each statue, a record is kept of the annual "bird-man", which is some asshole who swims to a nearby island, climbs a giant rock, steals a bird egg, swims back to Easter Isle with the egg intact, and is essentially proclaimed the leader of the island.


The Rosetta Stone: Though it was quite possibly the most crucial archaeological find in the sense that it helped decypher the Egyptian hieroglyphic and demotic written languages, when translated, it's just a proclamation of tax amnesty for temple priests.

The Colossal Bust of Ramses II, the Younger Memnon: First off..."colossal bust"...heh heh heh. Anyway, the hole in the chest was put there by French archaeologists in an attempt to get better leverage when trying to move the statue. That failed, they wrecked the statue, and now the British have it.

The Assyrian Winged Bulls: In between the back two legs of this gigantic stone structure, somebody carved the outline of a Middle Eastern board game (which is still played today, aparently).

Carvings of an Assyrian Lion Hunt: When hunting lions, Assyrians would barage them with arrows, badger them into attacking the king's chariot, where the king would kill them with spears...all as a method of making the king look strong as a warrior. It more or less just makes him look like a douche.

The Parthenon Marble Frieze: Because these sculptings were displayed on the outside of the Parthenon, the exhibit is technically inside-out.

The Parthenon Eastern Pediment: The horses on the far left are only shown from the neck up because they are apart of Helios' chariot, emerging from the sea at the dawn of each day...meaning the horses spend roughly 12 hours a day underwater.

Mesopotamia: Nothing interesting happened in Mesopotamia. Nothing.

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Now, if you're wondering what happened on Monday, you'll be bored with the answer. So, I've decided to spice things up with...

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THE DISCOVERY OF THE WEEK!

Sandwich Express: They're tucked in he middle of nowhere and they make good sandwiches, without obligatory mayonaise, lettuce or cucumbers on these sandwiches (unless you want them on it). This is the most straight-forward sandwich shop I've ever encountered. They hide nothing, nor do they imply anything. You want a sausage sandwich? They cut up links and put the meat between two slices of bread. Extra shit costs extra.

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And in case anyone was wondering...

The County Hotel finally got around to fixing their marquis. I think the bell-hops overheard us refer to this place as "the Cunty Hotel" for too long. We still don't know if this was an accident or vandalism...but it was funny regardless. However, don't let this incident turn you off to the notion of advertising in big letters in a city like London. The chances of suffering unfortunate damage like this is slim to none.

Okay...maybe the chances are a little less slim that someone's going to mess with your sign. It's funny how London is the city with the most surveillance in the world, but we see shit like this on a weekly basis here in King's Cross alone.