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#11 (Advertising)
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#11 Chocolate Shake-speare: Now, I know they're trying to advertise for a certain color of nail-polish, but for the life of me, I have no idea why in the hell they decided to make a pun out of chocolate shakes and Shakespeare.
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#10 (Society)
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#10 Free Pales(tine): This just seemed to be highly unnecessary, but it also seems to be very popular in Berlin...not the liberation of Palestine, mind you, but fucking with people's grafitti.
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Yep, we're all about free pales. Now, if we can only include buckets...
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#9 (Transportation)
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#9 Mercedes-Benz E-Class Taxi: Holy hell, Batman. I know Mercedes-Benz is a German car, but we don't use Corvettes as cabs in the US. Well, maybe the German people like a certain modern luxury in their vehicles. I wonder what the common-man drives.
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...alrighty then.
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#8 (Food)
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#8 Hamlet Coffee Bar: Our second unnecessary run-in with the Bard in Berlin. Dead for a decaf, dead! But seriously, why?
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#7 (Shopping)
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#7 The Octuple XL: There's no way in hell they're offering clothing sizes up to 8XL. If so, they might as well call the sotre "Fatass Tarp Emporium".
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#6 (Unique Sights)
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#6 Traumtheater ("Dream Theatre"): We have never seen a seedier-looking place in all our lives. This is where you go to lose a kidney to the black market and catch hepatitis in one foul swoop.
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#5 (Impact of Tourism)
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#5 "I <3>Twighlight, don't they? So, what's the big deal if somebody writes this on a wall. Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with it...if some ditsy American twat didn't write it on one of the few remaining fragments of the Berlin Wall. No, I'm not making this up...some bitch wrote I <3>this is why the world fucking hates us.
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#4 (Foreign Relations)
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#4 Locations of Certain Embassies: The US embassy is located right by the Brandenberg Gate, right by the spot where Ronald Reagan told Gorbachev to "tear down this wall". Appropriate location. Let's take a look at where the Japanese embassy is...
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Hiroshimastrasse..."Hiroshima Street". Really? Did you already have a Tokyostrasse, an Okinawastrasse, an Edostrasse, and ever other Japanese city-strasse scattered about Belin, so when they needed a location for the embassy, the only city that was left was one that had the atomic bomb dropped upon it? Location, location, location.
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#3 (Advertising)
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#3 The Sandalsaurus: I really have no idea why this exists. The people at Lanvin must have a remarkable window-display design team.
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#2 (Art)
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#2 ???: Seriously, somebody tell me what the hell is going on in this statue. It sort of haunts me...
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#1 (Art)
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#1 The Yellow Field: Okay...this one needs a little bit of a backstory. We were walking out of the West Berlin train station, heading toward the Reichstag, when we come across this little paintings display along a walkway. Just a bunch of very pretty paintings, all lined up in a row, with a little description underneath in multiple languages so that viewers can figure ou what the painting is all about. This one was a very serene, lovely looking painting, and we wanted to learn more about it. Naturally, we couldn't read the original German description, so we looked at the English translation.
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...I beg your pardon? The yellow field of what?
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I looked through my pocket German dictionary...vergewaltigung/vergewaltigen is "rape" in German.
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There isn't another German word that comes remotely close to that.
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...wtf?
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This has been the Top 11 WTF Moments of Berlin.
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